My Blog has been about why you need to keep active in retirement and the best way to stay active and happy is to help other people. I heard an interesting meditation the other day.
He was talking about the thought that people only have three things that they can live for. They can live just for themselves. They can live trying to please others all the time.
They can live using their gifts, strengths and resources to help others. Let us explore the topic. Now if you look at the person who only lives for themselves it will probably seem very appealing, offering freedom to pursue personal agendas without concern for others.
You can accumulate material wealth or achieve personal milestones, but these will feel hollow without meaningful relationships to share them with. I think of J Paul Getty as I think of this description with no lasting relationships at the end of his life.
Who else would fit this description Napoleon Bonaparte and his desire for power, and Ayn Rand's Character, Howard Roark.
Then there are those who live trying to only please others. They find that they struggle with anxiety and frustration. They are constantly trying to meet the expectations of others, that they lose their own identity and happiness.
People pleasers may find themselves feeling resentful and exhausted, as they give up on their own dreams and desires in the endless pursuit of other approval. The external validation is fleeting and unreliable and your sense of value becomes dependent on the fluctuating opinions of others.
Some people who fill this description are Vincent van Gogh, Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana who despite they appeared to have great success it also led them to experience depression and other illnesses as they tried to conform to the expectations of others.
In contrast to the two approaches above, you can choose to live by using your gifts, strengths and resources to help others. You tap into the core of what it means to be human, the desire to connect, contribute and make appositive impact.
You create a ripple effect on those around you by creating a rich emotional landscape that cannot be replicated by self-centered pursuits or the approval of others. Some high profile people who meet this are Mother Teresa, Albert Schweitzer and even Oprah Winfrey.
I don’t like her politics, but I do love how she has used her money and influence to help others. You can tap into this approach with helping family, friends, non-profits and even new careers.
If you have struggled with this question and others then go to Patterson2Y2R,com/blog should be a place you should visit to share your stories and challenges. I have an ear that would love to hear your stories. Let’s taste the real meaning of life.
I am still working on my course with a goal of launching a starter course by June 30th, and I will keep you abreast as to how the process goes.
If you want to participate in this process and join my first class please send me an email to bobchuckpatterson@yahoo.com
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